Setting up an ancestral altar
Altars are never mandatory, but they’re always a helpful tool for reaching beyond our world. While practicing ancestral veneration, they give us a place to center our thoughts and invite the spirits into our home. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful.
Think about what role your ancestors play in your life. My ancestor altar is the same as my household altar (or hearth altar, lararium, whatever you want to call it). The ancestors play a key role in my domestic life, so this seems like the best place to put them. My “hearth” is the bookshelf that holds my wifi router… which I think is extremely silly but also appropriate. Also, it’s in what you could consider the “entrance hall” (ie the side of the living room I walk through to go out the front door), so I can try to remember to blow them a kiss (adoration if you want to be fancy) when I leave
Consider how your ancestors would feel about sharing an altar and who they share it with. For instance, I don’t mix my ancestor altar with most deities because I think my fundamentalist Christian ancestors would find it creepy at best and at worse, they’d throw a fit. On the other hand, the ancestor altar is where I leave offerings for house spirits, Brigid, Mary, and even for Noumenia (new moon celebration). This is because these things are at least somewhat familiar to my family and are aligned in the goals of protecting the domestic space. Anything that doesn’t fly with the ancestors goes on my separate permanent altar or I’ll make a temporary one elsewhere.
How you set up the altar will vary based on tradition. For me, the minimal set-up includes an altar cloth, a glass of water, and a light source. Anything that goes on the cloth is for the ancestors. I might share a part of my food or drink, but I don’t eat or drink after them. They consume the spiritual part of the offering, so while it might be physically there, it’s missing something and is not fit for consumption by the living. Below, I go into a bit more detail on the individual parts, as well as some additional things that can be added to the altar.
Altar cloth: in my tradition, this is white. I like to crochet my own doilies for this purpose. Sometimes, especially for All Saint’s, I’ll put a colorful cloth underneath for decoration, but I try to always have a white cloth on top. Again, this denotes the space that is set apart for the ancestors.
Light source: right now I use a wax warmer, but this can be anything, whether electric or flame. I think of this as sort of calling them to attention, a sign that you’re there. I think the light itself is nourishing in some way, but more than anything, it means you’re taking the time to think about them.
Water: the glass of water is kind of the minimum viable present (mvp). It has some sort of nourishing ability like the fire, but once again, it’s really more a sign that you care. I recommend changing the water out once a day and definitely no less than once a week. It requires regular cleaning of the glass as well. If you wouldn’t use it to serve a guest, it shouldn’t go on the altar.
Candles: in addition to my wax warmer, I have at least 6 candles on my ancestor altar right now. I don’t burn all of them at once (good lord) and they all serve different purposes. One is a votive candle to Mary. Another I burn specifically to remember my grandfather because he loved gardenia. When a family member dies, I usually light a tealight and leave it burning to welcome them into the ranks of the ancestors. Some just smell good.
Plates & cups: these don’t stay on the altar, they’re usually stored in the kitchen. They’re my nicest teacups and saucers, or the few silver dishes I own. I don’t usually use them for myself, but I might get them out if I had a guest I really wanted to impress. So normally they’re set aside for when I have something like tea or cake to give to the ancestors.
Divination set: right now I’m using a particular set of tarot cards that my ancestors seem to like. I started out with regular playing cards, which I thought would be more familiar to them, but they really like this tarot deck with plant symbolism. Talking to the ancestors is a great way to practice divination, whatever form that takes. My go-to questions are things like “what are three things I should pay attention to this week?” or “what’s one piece of advice for today?”
Flowers: always a lovely addition to the altar. I’m lucky enough to work outside, so when the weather is nice, I’ll find something nice and put it in a bud vase or an empty tabasco bottle. I’ve also occasionally made garlands.
Incense and other smells: incense triggers migraines for me, so I rarely use it, but there are occasions when it just feels necessary. My absolute favorite offering is rose water in a spray bottle. I use it pretty much weekly as a kind of purification/sanctification of the space. I’ve also experimented with making my own scented oils to put in the wax warmer with varying results.
Photos and decorations: my altar is where I do a lot of meditation and prayer, so I might put up photos to contemplate. This might include family members, but also saints and other holy things. I also have an evil eye talisman on my altar at the moment. Decorations can be for yourself or offerings
Memory box: I have a particular box that holds pictures and trinkets of passed loved ones. Between All Saint’s and Yule, I’ll open the box and set up the pictures. The rest of the year, I keep the box closed, to be opened when I set time aside for it. Right now the box is on my altar, but it has moved all around my place.
